Evergreen
by Judy Greenleaf
Summary: AU At his friend's wedding, a mysterious woman catches Legolas' eye and begins to show him the meaning of happiness, but also the true meaning of heartache.
1. chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing, except my own characters. 

Summary: When Legolas feels like he has nothing left to live for, he finds the most unlikely of things. Love.

Author's Note: This is pre Lotr. This story is AU, and probably a Mary-Sue. That is my warning, so if you don't like, don't read. However, for those who decide to read - THANK YOU! Please review!

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~*Evergreen*~ 

~*Chapter 1*~

Legolas let a sparkling tear fall down his cheek as he sat in front of his mother's tombstone. It had happened again, as it always did. Every year on this day he would get into a fight with his older brother. Of course he was never usually the one yelling, he was the one being yelled at. It never failed. Every time this day came around, he would become depressed, which was ironic, considering this should be one of the happiest days of the year for him. It was his birthday. 

He knew his brother hated him, he had always known, for Caldin never tried to hide it. Legolas also knew that even though his father loved him, there was always that reminder of how his mother died buried in him and for that it was hard for Thranduil to even be around his youngest child. The queen had died giving birth to Legolas and for that, Caldin despised him immensely. So every year on his birthday, the crown prince would remind his younger brother of just how their mother had passed. 

The golden prince had only one wish, and that was for the love of his brother, though he knew it was hopeless for him to pray for that. He would only get his heart broken. Caldin hated him, and that would never change. He slowly rolled up the sleeve of his tunic and ran his fingers across his scars. Each year after the confrontation with his brother, he would sneak away into his bedroom and use a small blade and run it down his arm. It had always felt like the only way to make his pain go away. He had tried to stop, he just couldn't for some reason. Now it even started to become a daily routine.

He always felt so alone. Even though he had many friends he wondered how many of them actually were his friends and not only interested in what he could give them, be it money, fame or something else. So many people were shallow and only out for themselves and he figured it would be his luck to consider those people his friends. Legolas got to his feet and began to walk back to the palace. His head hung low and his shoulders sulked, as they usually did. Even after his birthday had passed, his sadness never did. 

"Legolas!"

The prince heard his name being called and he turned to see who shouted for him. He wasn't surprised to see who it was. Next to Aragorn, she was the only person who he was certain was his friend. He had known Deon for as long as he could remember. They had been close since they were elflings. "Hi" he said solemnly. 

"Come on Mellon Nin, it's your birthday. Cheer up by yourself or I am going to do it for you. I am tired of seeing you like this" the she elf proclaimed as she reached him. 

"Deon, please. I don't need or want to be cheered up right now. I just want to be alone" Legolas said as he started to walk away from her. 

The maiden let out a frustrated breath. Every year, she thought to herself angrily. She started to run after him and she grabbed his arm stopping him from going any further. "Why do you want to be alone Legolas, huh? Why? So you can cut yourself to pieces? So you can kill yourself with alcohol?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he said as he tried to pull his arm away from her, but she wouldn't let him. 

"Please, it doesn't take a genius to see what's happening to you and frankly I am tired of it. You may not perceive what you are capable of, but I can. Legolas, you are going to make a difference in this world. You have far too much to live for to threaten your well being by drinking or by cutting yourself" Deon professed as she rolled up his sleeve. 

"How did you know?' the son of Thranduil questioned uneasily. 

"A few months ago your father asked me to get you from your room. He didn't tell me what he wanted to talk to you about, so I just went upstairs to your quarters. I knocked on your door, but there was no answer" she explained as tears began to form in her grey eyes. "I opened the door myself because it wasn't locked and then I saw you. Y-you were sprawled out on your bed and five empty bottles of wine were lying on the floor. I moved closer to where you were because for a second I thought you were dead, but then I saw the rise and fall of your chest. I could smell the stench of alcohol in your breath, then I looked down at your arms. Blood was seeping through your shirt so I pushed up the sleeves and I saw the marks of your new cuts and scars of old ones. I couldn't see you like that I ran out of the room and I told your father that I couldn't find you. I have told no one about that."

Legolas could see how much this was hurting his friend, for she had begun to cry heavily. He didn't think anyone had knew, but he was kind of relieved when he found out that she did. However, he was still pleased to know that she didn't tell anybody. "Deon, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't think that in any way this could be related to you."

"How could you not? We have been friends forever. Did you not even stop to think about how your actions would affect me? How they would affect Estel? I'm not trying to get you down on your birthday, but how could you be so damn selfish?" she demanded harshly. 

"Selfish?"

"Yes, selfish. What if you had died that night? What if you had died any other night you did something like that? Do you know how much pain you would have bestowed upon your friends? You don't, right? Because you never took the time to even think about it. That's why I am calling you selfish" the maiden professed. 

"Okay, you're right, perhaps that was selfish of me. I just never thought that something bad happening to me would cause any pain to anybody else" Legolas responded as his chin fell to his chest. 

Deon put her fingers under his chin and lifted his head up so they could look one another in the eyes. "If that's the case then you're not only selfish but you're extremely stupid" she said as a small smile crossed her lips. 

A tad bit of laughter escaped Legolas ad it sounded beautiful to his companion, for she had not heard him laugh in a while. "Promise me that you will never do anything stupid again. Promise me that you will never hurt yourself ever again. I will not rest, or let you rest until you give me your word that I don't ever have to worry about you inflicting pain upon yourself ever again" she stated, and it was obvious that she was serious about what she said. 

Legolas nodded as he wiped away the shimmering tears that fell down his pale cheek. "All right, I promise. You have my word."

To Be Continued…

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What do you think? Should I continue? Let me know by reviewing. Oh and just a note, the Legolas depression is not over, so if you want me to continue you will be in for more Legolas angst. Please review!


	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my own characters.

Summary: When Legolas feels like he has nothing left to live for, he finds the most unlikely of things. Love. Au. 

~*Evergreen*~

~*Chapter 2*~

After he split up from Deon, Legolas went back to the palace. He actually felt a tad bit of happiness in his heart and soul, which was surprising to him to say the very least. Of course there were other times when he had been happy, but they mostly consisted of times when he was away from Mirkwood and in Rivendell, which he thought of as a second home. Sometimes it felt like more of a home than his kingdom did, and that scared him. He enjoyed going to Elrond's realm, considering the fact that the lord's foster son was one of his best friends, and he always had fun when Elladan and Elrohir were around. They all knew how to make him feel at home. 

Legolas opened the door to his quarters and he had a visitor, and not one that he was overjoyed to see. His older brother was sitting upon one of the wicker chairs that were placed in front of a large window, which was open, so the room had a slight chill to it. That didn't really make a difference to the two beings inside, but Legolas was sure that it wasn't a coincidence that coldness accompanied his sibling. 

"Caldin, what are you doing here?" the golden prince asked. 

"Is it that unusual that I would come to visit you?" Caldin responded with a question of his own. 

"Well, yes."

The crown prince of Mirkwood began to laugh as he got to his feet and walked over to his brother. "Legolas, you'll never get it, will you? You'll never get it. I don't want you here, okay? And I hardly doubt that anyone else does either. To me, all you are is the reason my mother is dead, because of you, she died. To Adar, all you are is a reminder of the woman that he loved with all of his heart. That's it. You are not family to me, just a pebble in my shoe. A pebble that I would like to see thrown into the river and sink to the bottom, never to resurface."

Legolas let a few silver tears escape from his silver eyes. "Why must you be like this? I've only ever done things to please you and Ada, to make you proud of me. Swordsmanship and archery, I've mastered them. The basics of healing, I've learned. I've done this all in attempts to earn your love. You're my brother, Caldin, and I love you, regardless of everything else. I just…I just don't understand. I mean I don't know what else to do."

"There is nothing for you to do. Nothing you could possibly do would ever make me love you in the slightest. The only feeling I have ever had for you is hate. I hate you Legolas, I really do. In my opinion Adar should have disowned you at birth for killing my mother. Like I said, it is because of you that she is now in the halls of Mandos. Even as a child you were hopeless and despicable. I am positive that everyone in our fair kingdom feels the same way I do. I am positive that all of the residents don't want you as I prince, I sure as hell don't want you as a brother. And I am positive that Adar doesn't want you as a son" Caldin proclaimed icily. 

Caldin wasn't an evil person, pretty much all of Mirkwood's people praised him for his personality. He was loved by everybody, no one had a bad word to say about him. He was a good individual, and Legolas knew this. Legolas knew how much the people of Mirkwood were awaiting the day when Caldin would come into ruling, so he couldn't understand why it was so impossible for his brother to show compassion for him like he did his people. He didn't know what to do, he felt like he was at the end of his rope and soon he was going to fall off. 

"Okay, I am sorry then for bringing so much pain into your life" Legolas said as his head fell and he bit down upon his lip to stop himself from shedding even more tears. 

"Your apology means nothing to me" the oldest prince snapped. "It means about as much as your life means to this country" he professed as he stormed out of the room. 

Legolas collapsed down onto his bed and buried his face into his green pillows. He was now not even attempting to stop crying, he knew he wouldn't be able to. This happened every year, and to lesser extent, every day, so he had no clue as to why he was making such a big deal out of it. He should have been expecting it, he should have 

been able to take it, or so he thought. 

He was at a loss for a next move or a next thing to say, but soon something came to him. Legolas got up out of his bed and walked over to his oak dresser. He opened up the top drawer, and he saw them. His ivory handled daggers. The blades seemed to shimmer when the sunlight hit them and it was like they were crying out to be taken out of the drawer. He slowly reached in and removed one of them and then closed the open drawer. He ran his finger down the hilt of the blade. 

It seemed heavy in his hand as he fiddled with it, but he knew this is what he had to do. His presence in Mirkwood was obviously not needed, his presence in Middle Earth was not needed, nor was it wanted. Perhaps everything would be better if he was just not there to make things worse for his family. Caldin was right about one thing. All he was, was a reminder to their father of their mother. That surely could not be a good thing. Who would want to have to look at the reason someone is dead. Legolas never intended to kill him mother, he was a mere baby who could, in essence, do nothing. He knew this. But the thing was he did do something. Now his family had to pay the consequences. Well, he wasn't going to let that happen, not anymore. 

If I should stay  


I would only be in your way.  


So I'll go but I know  


I'll think of you  


Every step of the way.  
  
And I will always love you.  


I will always love you.  


You my darling you   
  
Bittersweet memories,  


That is all I'm taking with me.  


So goodbye, please don't cry.  


We both know I'm not what you, you need.  
  
And I will always love you.  


I will always love you.  
  
I hope life treats you kind  


And I hope you have  


All you've dreamed of.  


And I wish for you joy  


And happiness.  


But above all this, I wish you love.  
  
And I will always love you.  


I will always love you.  


I will always love you.   


I will always love you.   


I will always love you. 

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love you

Without any further hesitation Legolas took his dagger imbedded into his stomach. A sharp pain seized through his body as he fell to his knees on his floor. Much to his surprise, the agony seemed to fade, physically, but that only left regret. He had hoped it would hurt, that way he wouldn't have to think about anything else as he was dying. All he would have to worry about is concentrating on the pain. But now his mind was free to wonder about how the people he knew would take his suicide. They would be happy, that is what he thought. But thinking that only brought more emotional turmoil. 

Why couldn't his family love him? Why wouldn't they lament over his passing? Maybe he was a horrible person, just as his brother had always said. Perhaps he didn't deserve to be loved. He wished his did though, he wished he could have been accepted in his family. But that would never happen now, he would never belong anywhere. He didn't belong in his family, in Mirkwood, or in Arda, and he definitely didn't belong in Mandos. No elf ever belonged there, but his mother had been forced to go there, maybe she would accept him there. All of the anguish slowly began to disappear as his eyelids started to feel heavy. He didn't try to make them stay open as he laid himself down on the floor and let his eyes close. 

*

"Legolas, Legolas wake up."

The young prince heard someone calling his name so he struggled to open his eyes. When he did, he saw that he was lying on a grassy hill, surrounded by flowers. There were birds chirping and the sun was shining. It was such a happy and serene setting and he was not sure what was going on. He pushed himself to his feet and then he saw her. There was a she-elf standing in front of him. She was wearing a flowing white dress and her hair was blowing in the soft breeze. Her blonde tresses were topped of with a shining silver tiara that had a small diamond that hung on her forehead. A smile crossed her lips when she saw him, how long she had waited to see him. Legolas wasn't sure what to do. Who was she? Where was he? He had so many questions and his companion could sense that. 

"I know you want to know who I am, Greenleaf and I have been waiting many years to be able to have the chance to tell you. Legolas, I am your mother, and you, my darling, are in the Halls of Mandos." 

"You're my mother?" the prince asked, in complete disbelief. All of his life he had dreamt of this and now that it was actually happening, he was at a loss for words. "I…I don't know what to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything" she replied as she wrapped her arms around his form. "All I want you to know is that I love you with all of my heart."

"I love you too, naneth" he said as he relished over being in company with his mother. But then something that she had said finally clicked in his mind. She had said that he was in Mandos? Was he dead? "Then it worked" he exclaimed. "I have passed in to the realm of Mandos. I'm not in Middle Earth anymore."

"No, thankfully you are wrong" the once-queen said seriously, confusing her companion very much. 

"But…I I'm in Mandos."

"Yes, I know this. You are in Mandos, however you have not died. You are on the verge of dying though. Legolas, how could you be so stupid. Death is not something that you can take so lightly that you would thrust it upon yourself. That's not right. I know that your father and brother aren't trying to give you a good upbringing, but you must know that they love you. Maybe they'll never admit it, but they do. Besides, you have friends, many friends, think about how much they would suffer" she declared. 

"I don't think anybody would suffer too much over my being dead. They'd probably be overjoyed" the son of Thranduil responded. 

"You have to fight this, my son. You must fight to hold on to you life. I know you don't know this and you probably will not believe it, but you are going to be so happy one day. People are going to have their lives depending on you. Please, don't let yourself fade" the she-elf begged as tears began to well up in her eyes. 

"I can't fight this, I won't. death, for me, it's what I best" Legolas retorted, shaking his head. 

"Fine, if you won't fight for yourself, I will fight for you. I am not going to let you die."

To be continued…

**Well what do you think? Don't worry, the romance is going to be coming soon. And when it finally does come, there is going to be a lot of it, along with much angst. Please review!**_  
  
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	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I am only borrowing these characters from Tolkien.

Summary: AU At his friend's wedding, a mysterious woman catches Legolas' eye and begins to show him the meaning of happiness, but also the true meaning of heartache.

Author's notes: All right, for anybody who is still reading this story, or has started to read it, I have changed it's direction completely, as you can see from the summary. I thought that the old one made it seem to cliché and already used. Oh right, this is AU and pre Lord of the Rings, in case anyone didn't know. Oh, I just thought that I'd tell you, the romance is not with Legolas and Deon, it's with Legolas and someone who has yet to come in the story.

Evergreen

Chapter 3

"Deon, Deon, wake up" Manthalion said loudly as he shook the form of his fiancée. He was a good elf, and Legolas along with Deon's family really approved of their relationship together

"What is it?" the elven maiden asked as she sat up and rubbed her sparkling blue eyes. When she saw the despair in her companion's eyes, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. She was almost afraid to ask, but she knew she had to. "Tell me, what's wrong?"

Manthalion took a deep breath as he pulled her up to her feet, careful not to hurt her. "I know that this is going to be a very hard thing for you to hear, so I want to show you instead. It will be easier for me to explain if you can see for yourself."

This only confused Deon even more, but she decided to let it go as she followed him down the hallway. Her heart started to move up into her throat when she saw that they were headed right for the entrance of the Houses of Healing. "Honestly, am I at all going to want to see what is in there? Do I really want to go in there?"

"For your first question, I am afraid the answer is no" the elven warrior responded regretfully. "You are not going to want to see what is in there. However, you will want to go in there. Actually, in my opinion, you need to go in there."

The silvan she-elf looked at him, somewhat baffled by what he had told her. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her so she figured his advice really was from the heart. Slowly, she opened up the wooden door, but in no way was she ready for what she saw in there. "Oh my gosh" she said as she covered her mouth with her hand. On one of the tables, surrounded by healers was her best friend. "What happened to you?" she asked silently as she walked over to Legolas. Out of respect, the healers backed away so she could talk to him privately. "This is not good."

"He was found early this morning by a maid in his bedchambers. At first she thought that he had been attacked during the night, but when the healers looked at him, they knew that wasn't the truth" Manthalion said as he put his hand on her shoulder.

"If he was not attacked, what happened to him" she inquired nervously. She already had a good idea what the answer was, but she needed to hear somebody else say it in order for it to become fact in her mind.

"Some of the guards told me that they heard Legolas arguing with his brother last night. They all think that this fight was intense enough for him to try and take his own life. When they first found him, he was on the brink of death. None of them thought that he would make it, but the healers have got his injury under control. They are just hoping that he hasn't lost too much blood" Manthalion responded. "They say that there is still a chance that he could take a turn for the worse, a small chance mind you, but it's a risk none the less. They want to keep him under observation for a few days."

"I am going to kill him" Deon declared as she stormed out of the room. "I swear it, I'll kill him with my bare hands."

"Are we still talking about Legolas?" he asked, as he followed behind her.

"No," the maiden said, looking at him as if he were crazy. "I am talking about his idiotic, uncompassionate brother. You would think that after all these years Caldin would get the hint that his words hurt. Perhaps he doesn't remember the incident when Legolas was still rather young and he had to be rushed to a healer because he had cut his wrists for the first time."

"He stopped that though, right?"

Deon shook her golden head. "No, he hasn't. I thought he had though too up until a few months ago. I just finished telling Legolas this yesterday, but a few months I went into his room and I saw that he had never stopped. He has been doing this for years. It's amazing that he isn't dead because of that, he's been doing it for so long."

"We both know that Caldin loves Legolas" Manthalion replied.

"Well it wouldn't hurt him to show it once in a while. I have known Legolas for my whole life and for his and never once had Caldin told him that he loves him."

"It's not that Caldin is not a good person, he just has a bad way of showing how he feels around Legolas. All right, maybe he doesn't have a way at all, but it's hard for him. Don't get me wrong, I don't at all agree with the way he treats his brother, I just understand why he acts the way he does" he professed.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I seem insensitive to what the crown prince is going through, it must be hard to lose a parent, but look at the difference between him and Legolas. Caldin is up and walking around. He had the ability to smile in his home and to have meaningful conversations with his father. Legolas has nobody. He feels like he has no family. Once he told me that he feels more at home in Rivendell that here in Mirkwood. He has tried to take his own life. I think that's enough said" Deon retorted. "Caldin has never known what it is like to be scorned by your own family, your own flesh and blood."

"I know, you don't need to convince me of who has the harder life in Thranduil's family. I already know that there's no competition. It's just that I feel sorry for Caldin as well. He has lost his ability to love somebody, even his family" the warrior said as he sat down on a bench outside the healing houses, with his companion.

"Maybe so, but he has to realize something very important" Deon proclaimed as she rested her head upon his shoulder. "He may have lost his ability to love someone, but Legolas has never even had it."

"Well, perhaps being a part of the wedding will help to cheer him up. I haven't told him yet, mostly because I couldn't, but I have decided that I want him to be my best man, so to speak" he added after a slight pause. "That news might make him a tad joyful."

"Perhaps" Deon said with a smile. "I know that you do not agree with what I am about to do, but I have to do it anyway. I would never be able to live with myself if I knew that I did not confront Caldin about this. It's important that I talk to him about his behaviour."

"It's funny, how you act. Caldin is about a hundred years your senior, yet you still talk about him like he is only a mere child. I am sure that he would enjoy it if you spoke to him like that when you are actually speaking face to face" Manthalion laughed.

"He is acting like he is a child. It is only fair that I talk about him like he is one" the maiden replied as she stood up from her seat. "I will talk to you later."

Deon walked down the hallway towards the quarters of the one whom she was searching for. She thought that he probably hadn't even been down to see Legolas yet. If she found out that she was right, boy, she was going to let him have a piece of her mind. When she reached his door she banged on it as hard as she could. The door opened and he stood there, looking as normal as he would on any other day. That annoyed her more than words can say. "Just by your appearance, I assume that you have yet to hear about what happened to your brother last night."

"Oh no, I heard" Caldin said as he moved out of the way so she could come in. "They told my father and I as soon as they found him."

"And have you been down to see him yet?" Deon asked, doing all that she could to keep from getting angry at him. She didn't want to start a fight, but she would if need be.

Caldin shook his head as he turned his back to her. "No, I have not been down to see him. I figured that his friends would take care of that, and it seems like you have. There is no need for me to go and pay him a visit."

"But you're his brother" the maiden professed as she walked over to him.

"Only biologically."

"That's just cold" Deon said as she rolled her sapphire eyes at him. "You are no nice to everybody else, even me, your brother's best friend and my fiancé. If you can be decent enough to people you know only through him, how can you be so cruel to Legolas? It makes to sense to me."

"That's fine. I have never once asked you to understand the reasons behind the way I act towards my father's son. If you can not comprehend it, then just leave it alone. Our relationship is already complicated enough without you trying to figure it out" Caldin stated tonelessly.

"Can't you even try to show him some respect and sympathy? All he has ever done in his life was to please you. More than anything else in the world he wants your love and acceptance. You can give him that if you would just try" Deon said as she looked at him with pleading eyes.

"The thing is, I am not going to try. I can't and I won't" the eldest son of Thranduil said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You are just a horrible, horrible person. There is a chance that you have your brother's life in your hands, and his possibly his death and you are choosing to ignore that. At least your father can be kind to him, but you are just heartless and vindictive. I think if everybody in Mirkwood knew how you really were to your family, they would not praise you like they so often do" the she elf exclaimed. "They would hate you probably as much as I do right now."

"Well, I can't help the way that you feel about me. It's you prerogative whether or not you want to hate me, and let's face it, it's not that big of a loss for either one of us, is it?" Caldin asked.

"I understand now exactly why Legolas said what he said to me a while ago" Deon professed. "I always figured it was because he felt unwanted, but I can tell that it goes deeper than that now. He said to me once that he preferred it in Rivendell because there he had a family, maybe not a biological one, but one that actually meant something to him."

"What are you talking about?"

"He said to me that this was a just a place where he slept, where the people he loved hated him," Deon continued. "I knew that you were merciless to him, but I thought that you couldn't really hate him and it just seemed that way. Talking to you now, I understand that he was right. You don't love him. I don't think your heart has the capacity to truly love anybody. But don't worry, for someone who drains every ounce of love out of a relationship, they are always the one who suffers in the end. One day you will realize how big of a mistake you have made, but by then, I can only guess that it will be too late to do anything about it."

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To be Continued

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Author's Notes

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, even the flamers. It means a lot to me.


	4. chapter 4

Disclaimer: The only things that I own are the characters that I made up. Everything else belongs to Tolkien, my idol.

Summary: AU At his friend's wedding, a mysterious woman catches Legolas' eye and begins to show him the meaning of happiness, but also the true meaning of heartache.

Author's Note: I am so sorry that it has taken this long to update, but I have been really busy with my exams. Lucky for me I am now on my summer vacation. I can start to update more often!

Evergreen

Chapter 4

When he opened his eyes, Legolas felt physically worse than he ever had in his entire life. Everything that happened was kind of blurry to him, but he vaguely remembered the feeling of stabbing himself. There was another memory that stuck out in his mind. He had talked to his mother. She told him that she loved him. It had been a really long time since someone told him that. His father used to say it, but it was when he was a child. Legolas wasn't sure of it had been a dream, but he hoped that it really happened.

"Welcome back."

Legolas didn't even know that there was someone else in the room, but when he heard her voice he turned his head and saw his best friend sitting on one of the chairs. "Hi."

Deon was so upset. There were no words to explain the anger that was in her heart at that moment. Up until a few minutes ago she hadn't stopped crying. The streams from the tears were still visible on her pale cheeks. Her arms were crossed in front of her and just by the expression on her face, Legolas could see that she was distraught. "How could you do this? You promised me that you would never do something like this. I don't understand."

"There was nothing else I could do. I'm not wanted here. You know this" the prince declared.

"I do know something. I know that there are a lot of people who value you and your life. You have friends. It just seems like you don't care if you hurt them. Is that it? Do you have no compassion for the people who care and love you?" the maiden questioned.

The son of Thranduil shook his head. "No, I do. It's just that the people who do care for me seem like a minority compared to the people who hate me and would like to see me dead."

"That's not true" Deon exclaimed as she walked over to his bed and knelt down beside him. "That's not true. I bet you that half of the people of Mirkwood would rather see you as their future king as opposed to Caldin. They all love you. It would have brought heartache to every person in our great realm if they found out that you were among the dead in Mandos. It would have killed them."

"I don't think so" Legolas replied with a sarcastic laugh. "There is a dark light around me, one that I will never be able to escape. It is the same light that took my mother and the queen. Caldin is surrounded by bright stars. The people love him and I think that he deserves it. He's a good prince. I warrant he will make a good king one day too."

"No he won't" the she elf professed. "He does not deserve to be loved or praised by anybody. Your brother is a horrible person who can not comprehend the meaning of love. How can a king be a good one if he can not care for his people?"

"Caldin cares about every living thing in Mirkwood. It eats him alive whenever anything ill befalls someone in the country. I bet that he cares more about our people than some kings care about their people. We both know that he will make a good king" Legolas said solemnly.

"Fine" Deon said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I can admit that you are right. Your brother is probably going to make the finest king that Mirkwood has ever known. That is what I do not understand about him. How can he show so much tenderness and kindness for people that he does not even know personally, but he can not show an ounce of feeling for you? Someone who was borne from his mother? He didn't even some to see if you were all right after what happened. I told him and he didn't care."

"There's no point trying to figure it out, Mellon Nin. You have your wedding to worry about" Legolas said with a smile. "I assume that I have been unconscious this whole time, so I am going to go for a walk."

Deon reached over to hold him down on his bed. "You are not going anywhere. It's too dangerous. You just woke up from trying to kill yourself. I don't think that the healers would approve of you just getting up and leaving without their consent. I don't approve of it either so just stay where you are."

"All right then, I will stay here, locked in this confounded bed, but at least let me be alone. I just...I need some time to think about everything. I promise I won't leave" Legolas assured as a pleading look covered his handsome face.

"It's against my better judgement, but I will grant you your wish. Just don't do anything stupid" she responded with a grin as she kissed his forehead and exited the houses of healing.

When Legolas saw that she was gone, he sat up and got out of the bed. He saw that there were clothes set out on a chair and so he quickly threw them on. The suddenness of his actions caused pain to shoot through his body every now and then, but he managed to shove those thoughts to the back of his mind. He needed to get some fresh air and he couldn't do that trapped in a bed. He peered his head out the door and when he saw that that coast was clear he disappeared outside the palace.

It was when he was in nature that he was finally able to find relaxation when he was in Mirkwood. It had always been a lost cause trying to find any peace inside the palace. He would always either end up having a heated confrontation with his brother or a meaningless conversation with his father. Every day he would always get a sympathetic glance from one of the maids in the palace as well. Though Legolas knew the meant well it only deepened the stake that was jammed in his heart. That's why he loved Rivendell so much. Save for the royal family nobody there knew what his home life was like. They just treated him like he was a normal person and that is what he longed for so much.

As he walked through the paths in the garden outside the palace he let a saddened breath escape his lips when he set his eyes upon two people. It was one of the soldiers in Mirkwood's army with his infant son. They were playing together and the child was enjoying himself thoroughly. "You don't know how lucky you are" the prince sighed to himself. He wasn't quite sure if he was talking about the child or the parent or even both. The infant was able to have a loving relationship with his son. The father was able to look at his son without being overwhelmed with despair.

Legolas felt like he was being selfish when he started to envy them. He knew that he should be happy for the father and son. Just because he would never have that with his father doesn't mean that others should be robbed of joyful relationships. In the end he could not help the single tear that fell down his cheek and so he turned around and walked towards the depths of the woodlands that surrounded his home. He didn't want to feel the jealousy anymore, but he knew he would if he could see them. He had to be alone, completely alone before he could be at peace again, like he was moments ago.

He walked until the only things that were around him were tress and other plants. He made sure that he went far enough that he would not be able to hear another voice. When he finally stopped moving he leaned against one of the trees and slid down the stump until he was sitting on the mossy ground. He closed his eyes as he dropped his head into his hands. It seemed like all the animals in the forest were attracted to him because, as usual, they came to his side.

"What's wrong with me?" he questioned aloud. "What is wrong with me? Why can I not be pleased with the life that I have? Deon was right. I do have a few friends and they mean the world to me. That should be enough. Why must I hide away in the forest like some criminal?"

He had drained out reality completely and had entered some sort of other universe. It was a world that he wished he could be a part of. Everyone there was happy. His mother was alive and his brother and father actually cared for him. In this world he could smile and really have something to smile about it. His happiness never had to be faked. In this world, when he was upset he had people who would comfort him. His brother would comfort him. Nobody blamed him for his mother's death because never died. She made it through the childbirth process. Thranduil could look at him and it would be love, not desperation and depression in his eyes. In this world, Legolas had a family.

The prince never wanted to leave his euphoric land, but when he heard the snapping of a twig he realized that he was no longer alone. He knew that it couldn't have possibly been an elf because he could still hear the person's footsteps as they moved. This only worried him, so he reached into his quiver, which he had found in the healing houses as well, and pulled out an arrow and notched it to him bow. Slowly he started to walk around the tree to where he could hear this unknown person approaching. When he got there he saw a figure cloaked in a black robe that went from head to toe. He could tell that this person didn't sense him at all because they didn't even turn around when he approached.

He continued to move closer to the person until the tip of his arrow was touching them on the back. At that point the newcomer's body tensed. "Who are you?" he questioned. "Why have you come to my father's country?"

"Remove your weapon from my back and I will tell you."

Upon hearing the person's voice Legolas realized that she was a female. He couldn't tell before because the cloak masked anything that was feminine. He lowered the arrow and when he did his new companion turned around to meet his gaze. When she dropped her hood he saw that she was a human. She had long reddish-brown hair and piercing green eyes. She was beautiful. Legolas felt somewhat ashamed that he had held a weapon to a female, but he knew that there were women who were a lot better with weapons than some men. "Who are you?"

"My name is Iris" she responded.

"And my other question. Why have you come to my father's country?"

The maiden took a deep breath as she prepared to answer. It was a rather long story and she didn't want to have to repeat herself, which she knew she would have to do if she told him right now. There was something about him that instantly attracted her to him. It wasn't his outward appearance, which would have been an obvious answer, but it was something else. He had a gentle aura about him and in his eyes she saw sorrow that would have filled the lives of one hundred men. "I have come seeking shelter and guidance if it will be given to me, my lord."

"Why Mirkwood?" Legolas inquired as he tilted his head to the side. She didn't seem at all dangerous, but he sensed that if need be she could handle herself.

"I had nowhere else to go" she replied in a concerned tone. "Listen, I just need some help, please. Your father is the king, I assume, please take me to him. I just need somewhere to stay, only for a little while."

"Are you in danger of any sort?" the prince asked. The look on her face made it seem like she was worried that any second somebody was going to pounce on her from behind.

"You might say that" Iris shaking her head. "I just need to talk to the king, my lord. Please, I beg of you, take me to him."

"All right, relax, I will take you to my father. Follow me."

**I hope you all liked this chapter. I want to say sorry again for such a long wait, but like I mentioned above, I am off school now. MY EXAMS ARE OVER! Please review. Reviews mean so much to me.**


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